I even half-love Shavon, after today. I don't love you, Ada. How could you think so? Lately I find, You're on my mind, More than you know... What did she mean by 'the rest'? Laura wondered. 'I wish we could go back right now to the shower... and forget the rest, ' Ada had said. It was inescapable. Ada had meant that the fucking was wonderful, but the feelings had scared the daylights out of her. Or maybe they had both scared the daylights out of her.Fresh tears streamed silently down Laura's cheeks. I'm going to have to have something stronger than wine, she thought. This pain is too hard. She got up, went to the kitchen, and poured herself a vodka over ice. After drinking it, she felt better. She recalled that in the past, feeling this kind of pain, she would run to Karen, and they would torture each other into one excruciating climax after another through an entire evening of demonic and depraved perversion, until the emotional pain was driven into the shadows by a physical agony. I wanted to be beautiful for you. Not as beautiful as you, of course. You had looked at me with that sparkle in your eyes. Your black hair was gracefully tied up and fell slightly over your shoulder. Your skirt swung after you with every movement and my gaze stayed on your lips. You should look at me and want to kiss me. To stroke my hair back and let me kneel before you. I wanted to be ready to serve you, caress your body, touch it and give myself to you. But you just sent me this link and said that I no longer have to decide how to dress for you.When I was later at home, I lay awake in bed for a long time. You couldn't have been serious, could you? You don't really expect me to spend so much money on something I don't like myself. I stared at the picture again. Trying to imagine what I would look like in that shiny mask. Probably I would not be recognized at all. I would no longer be a woman you would desire. I would be an object that is only there to serve your lust. The thought.
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